Monday, September 26, 2016

Looking for Rainbows

When your mother dies one month short of her ninety-first birthday, you are not truly sad, but more relieved that she is finally dancing the polka in heaven, with the love of her life. You are happy that she no longer suffers from excruciating knee pain, but instead is well again and enjoying watching her family from above. You are over-joyed that she no longer is confused and wondering why she can't remember what you just told her...four times already!
You see rainbows!

After your mom dies, you are sad; you miss talking with her and seeing her and smelling her and hugging her. You wake up wanting to call her and tell her about the fun party you went to last night, or the movie you just watched, or the great episode of a new TV show that you know she would love. You miss your mom. 
You miss seeing rainbows.

Two weeks after your mom dies your sister calls you and tells you she has uterine cancer! F*%King CANCER! Your sister is not supposed to get cancer. She's supposed to be well and be glad. She's not supposed to have to worry for weeks while she waits for appointments and results, only imagining the worst that can happen to her.
Still looking for rainbows!

After your mom dies and your sister tells you she has cancer, you try to keep on being strong. You keep on making things. You keep on going through the motions of life. You clean and cook and tell your kids and grand kids how much you love them.You hug your puppy, who knows you are sad. You reach out to friends for comfort. 
You finish knitting your RAINBOW socks.

After your mom dies you are even more excited about your upcoming holiday to Ireland. You know you can go with a clear conscience; you know you will not have to worry that you might get a call that your mom has been ill or worse, that she has died.  But after your sister tells you she has cancer, you feel guilty that you are leaving and you wish you could be with her when she gets her full diagnosis and treatment plan.You are reminded that every stage of life is precious and you pack and get ready for your trip...but you aren't seeing rainbows.

But one day you wake up and you see there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You know everything will be alright. God will take care of your sister. She has a loving husband and two very loving children. She is looking forward to the birth of her seventh grandchild, due on Christmas Day. She will see lots and lots of rainbows in her life. You keep praying and start really looking forward to your Ireland vacation. 

When your mom dies you get to really start thinking about retirement. You ask your husband to get a two-year plan in motion. To please cut back on work and to take up a hobby that can bring him joy in his retirement.
I am so glad I have this community of knitters and quilters to expand my long list of support group. I have friends from Morocco, to Europe to Australia...who all support me with their kind words of encouragement. Most I have never met and some I have had the great pleasure to have met in person.
Friends are the Rainbows in life.

So my message here is to always see the rainbows in life. I know some days it is difficult. I am having one of those days.
I need to see Rainbows.

I started knitting these socks using the two at a time, toe up method, on a 40" circular needle. When it came time to make the heels I transferred one sock to the 24" circular and then completed each sock separately; this is because I was too lazy to look for the instructions that tell how to turn the heels on the two at a time method.
The reason I did a contrasting heel is because I could tell that I was not going to have enough yarn to make these socks with a 6" cuff if I didn't make contrasting heels. I bought the medium sized sock set but should have ordered the large. I only ended up with about two yards of yarn left on each ball, so that would have been cutting it a little too close for me.
The yarn was a dream to knit with and is one of the few yarns I have used where there was no color bleeding when I soaked the finished socks to block them.I highly recommend using Knit Circus Yarns.

Sock Stats:

Name: Looking for Rainbows
Pattern: My own Basic Sock Pattern with a Fish Lips Kiss Heel
Yarn: Over the Rainbow Striped Sock Set 80% superwash Merino, 20 % nylon
Heels: Hand Dyed Yarn by The Flying Kettle on Etsy 75% Superwash Merino wool, 25% nylon. 
Needles:Addi Turbo Sock Rockets Circular 40" and 24" US size 1 (2.5mm)


Cindy said...

I wish I could give you a hug! Prayers for your sweet sister! Have a great time in Ireland!

Katy Cameron said...

Have some (((((HUGS)))) to go with your rainbows. I'm hunting for a few myself right now, after my great uncle just died (at 89, but he was my gran's wee brother, and besides he'd just made a big pot of soup the night before he died) and my mum and dad's house got broken into when they were on holiday. I'm looking forward to your photos of my homeland to help me find my rainbows.

Sarah said...

Beautiful post Di. So very sorry that your sister has had such horrible news. I will remember her in my prayers and hope she sees many many rainbows in the days ahead. Hoping your holiday on this wee island helps you find even more rainbows.

Geri said...

Thank you for your beautiful words and I am sorry that you are hurting too. I love you.

cheeky monkey said...

It is always encouraging and a real pleasure to read your blog posts. I am so sorry you had to let your Mum go and your sister got this terrible news. Thanks so much for reminding me to give a hug to loved ones! Have a lovely time here in Ireland and hopefully you will see lots of rainbows! They are always so beautiful!
The socks are gorgeous! A splash of color on grey days ....

Betty Mortko said...

My tears are so constant right now for you, Geri and Mom. I always loved your mom from our first meeting. What an amazing woman. Not many of us Moms would get that kind of love expressed before and after death. She deserved it and more.
You and Geri and your brother are amazing people. I love you all.
What you wrote is so amazing. God bless Geri. She is one fabulous woman and I love her so much., I pray her results are minimal and she recovers quickly. I know Paul ( my handsome nephew ) is suffering also till it is settled.
Thank you again for your beautiful tribute.
I am Geri and Paul's Aunt Betty. Eileen's sister
With Love
Betty Mortko

Melody A. said...

What a beautiful tribute to your mother, and a realization that time is precious so we need to enjoy it as much as we can with all the love we have to give !!! I pray that your sister will be well again after this diagnosis. Have a lovely time in Ireland and wear your beautiful socks to remind you of all the rainbows in your world!! WE all have them, we just can't always see them. Take care.

mascanlon said...

I am so very sorry Di. And so very sorry for Geri. I am glad you have found the rainbow. I am sending live Nd prayers to you both!

Susan Snooks said...

You know you are in my thoughts and prayers Di. (I am writing this and see your comment to my blogpost in my inbox!) Your words of tribute to your mother are beautiful and full love. I hope there are many more rainbows for you and your entire family in the days ahead!

Run Quilt Knit Write said...

Oh Di, your load is heavy at the moment, but it is a blessing that you are able to see the positives among all the difficult things. This is a beautiful post and I shall keep it. I suspect that I am not far behind you on the mom front (about to turn 90, forgetfulness and accidents increasing....). On a positive front - I had uterine cancer 8 years ago, had surgery and have had no problems since. Actually the doctor told me that if you have to have cancer, then that isn't a bad one to is treatable with surgery and because it is a closed unit it can take longer to spread. Thinking of you and your sister, Take care my friend, Helen xx

Leanne said...

I too wish I could give you a hug. You have the best attitude and I wish you many rainbows this week and always and some for your sister too. I love the red heels on your socks.

Debbie said...

What a precious post, Diane. What an emotion-filled season you are in. Prayers for your sis, and hoping the trip to Ireland is a breath of fresh air for you. Oh and gorgeous socks!!

Annabella said...

Oh my goodness, it's so long since I've been here to your blog and I read this beautiful post. I have a big lump in my throat thinking of what you and your precious family are going through. Hope you find a rainbow in Ireland, perhaps with a leprachaun at the end of it holding a pot of gold, with positive news coming from home. Sending bear-sized hugs as ever. xxx p.s love the socks!!

Unknown said...

WOW ! That is an awesome post Diane. Have a beautiful trip to Ireland.
Prayers for Geri to find at the end of her Rainbow a pot of gold filled with good health. Love the socks.

LethargicLass said...

You brought a rainbow to me with this post... thank you! Have a wonderful time in Ireland and live in the moment while there, life can hold on a little longer for you to deal with it :)

Isisjem said...

Oh Di I'm sorry to hear of more sad news for you and your family. A beautiful post to go with the happiest sock I've ever seen. Have a fantastic trip to Ireland where I hear there are lots of rainbows!

Katherine said...

Thank you for this beautiful post, Di. Prayers for your sister and wishes for more rainbows! May your trip to Ireland be just what you need during this difficult time.
Love those socks and appreciate the uplifting thoughts threaded through your post. Hugs!